Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Baby Sitting + Update

MR.P and I had the pleasure of baby sitting for our friends last night.  They live in FL, so we don't get to see them very often.  Matt and I couldn't stop talking about how special it is to be a part of our friend's childrens lives!  I mean really.  We are going to be a part of helping them grow up!  That's a big deal. 

Matt and I couldn't stop kissing on Jack's sweet little cheeks!  They are adorable! 

It took Jack a little while to crack a smile, but then we bonded and we understood each other :)  He was soo calm and relaxed.  I hope our children are like that!

Matt had the special touch feeding Jack.  He doesn't like to be held while being fed, so that's why he's on the floor ;)

Thank you Katie and Derrick for letting Matt and I be a part of Jack's life.  We SOO enjoyed having some special time with him. 

I am sorry I haven't really updated y'all on what's going on with the adoption.  I've started this post about 20 times, but just didn't know how to express it.  For some reason when I was starting this post about baby sitting for our friends it started to flow naturally :)

Matt and I were informed that South Korea requires you to have all of the funds up front.  Matt and I had saved some, but not all obviously...we're only 26.  We planned to save more along the way and to raise some of the funds as well.  Our church wanted to go along side us during this adoption.  Well, since South Korea wanted ALL the funds up front, we decided that it just wasn't possible for us to adopt from South Korea.  Sad, but all hope was not lost.

After finding this news out, Matt and I decided that we needed to stop being stubborn and just go to the dr to see what was wrong.  We felt a huge peace about having knowledge of our physical situation.  After a few visits to the dr we were given some hope that Artificial Insemination could possible be in the cards for us.  We were VERY excited about this.  It's a very simple procedure, so it seemed like the Lord stopped us from the adoption in order to be able to do this!

We had 1 more round of tests for Matt in order to see if the AI would actually be possible for us.  We scheduled these tests for the day we were leaving for vacation.  We figured that was perfect.  We would go have the tests done, then leave for a fun vacation, then a week later we would find out the results.  WRONG.  I was in the waiting room for about 45 minutes when the nurse came and got me.  She took me to the room where Matt was and shut the door behind me.  The dr had already given Matt the results and wanted him to be able to tell me himself. 

Anyway, the results were not what we hoped for.  Basically, AI is not an option for us.  So really, our only option is In vitro, which is not an option for us right now.  This news was really hard for us.  I feel like in the last few months we've had some major ups and downs regarding children.  It was hard at first because I felt like the Lord kept giving us good news and then taking it away.  Almost like taking my hope away. 

Now we are restling and praying through what we should do next.  Should we go ahead with domestic adoption?  Should we wait and keep trying for our own?  For a few weeks this was really tough.  But, for the past week I have felt an amazing joy for where Matt and I are in life.  I know that the Lord is going to show us where to go, but its probably not going to be in the next month or so.  I kept giving God time frames I needed to know things by, but it just wasn't happening.  So I am RESTING in the promises that God has given us.  I am excited about life and where God has us. 

Now in saying all of this, it doesn't mean there isn't hurting and pain.  It just means I am learning what to do with it and how to deal with it. 

 "For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 8:24-25

While we are resting and hoping for these desires we can put all of our efforts into our nieces and friends children.  This is an amazing gift that we've been given :) 

P.S. It took a while to get to this place.  A lot of prayers from friends and family.  A lot of wisdom from others.  And a lot of conversations just talking out my emotions.  The guys Matt works with even prayed over him!  As a wife, this is amazing gift to me...the guys he works with love him and pray for him often!


Julianne Hendrickson said...

I love your honesty and trust in the Lord. You are an incredible woman! "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Thinking and praying for you.

lauren elizabeth said...

The Lord is going to use your honesty and transparency to minister to so many lives. A good friend of mine is going through the same thing and posted this on her blog (that she has learned) "waiting for God is the supreme test of faith" and it truly is! You are going to love your baby, whichever way it happens, more than you will ever know.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."- Ps. 27:14

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."- Ps. 130:5

"I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"- Lam 3:24

so thankful for your nieces and friends children that you can love on them for this season!

Dawn said...

Hey lady- I am thinking of you. I was wondering why I hadn't seen much lately but didn't want to ask for an update because it is so personal. I figured when you have something to share, you will. Not to be intrusive, but have you considered other countries? I assume there was something that drew you to S Korea in the first place. Whatever you decide best of luck and I am excited to follow along. I will be sending good vibes your way!

Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

I was curious what was happening with the adoption.

Think of it this way... at least you're certain that you want children and you and your husband are on a path to make that happen. That's a good place to be in! Plus, you're preparing yourselves for whatever form parenthood may come in. (There are so many ways to have a family these days, aren't there?) I love that you're open minded in your journey. What a fortunate kid you're going to have.

I'm excited to see what happens!


Mama Cobb said...

Thank you for sharing your struggles. My heart just breaks for those enduring the battle of infertility. While my blog might look all shiny with my 2 beautiful girls, those girls didn't come easy- especially Caroline (our newest). Start to finish she was 2 years in the making. We didn't have to go as far as IVF, but we did have quite a few interventions. She was far from a natural conception. :) All this to say, I know how much it hurts. You seem to really be in a great place, and I KNOW the Lord will bless you with a beautiful child. The biggest thing I've learned through the journey is that His timing really is perfect. I will commit to pray for you, and am excited to see what the Lord has in store.

Hank and Anna Uzzell said...

Beth, thank you so much for sharing! Know that you were prayed for today and I would love to catch up soon. love, Anna

Emily said...

I am so humbled by your faith! You are a very strong, confident and inspiring person and I wish that I had the opportunity to know you in real life. I'm praying for you guys!