Waiting is Tough

I haven't posted in a while and I guess that's ok.  I haven't done much of anything to our house lately so I haven't really felt like blogging.  But, I decided I should talk about what's actually going on in my life!  MR.P and I decided to switch adoption agencies from Bethany Christian Services to Americans for International Aid for Adoption.  We just weren't getting fast enough responses and we are ready to move fast!!  But, sadly, we have to wait until June 1st to fill out any paper work.  You see, we are adopting from South Korea and their regulations state you have to be married for 3 years in order to adopt from that county.  Our anniversary is July 13th, so this new agency is letting us start a whole month and a half early!  We'll fill out their preliminary application and then wait on the BIG paper work.  Then hopefully get started on our home study.  We hope and pray to get all of that stuff done quickly.  It will be tough, but so worth it in the end.

Here's what I'm going through.  FEAR.  I fear that it won't ever happen.  I guess I feel that way because we are in waiting mode right now.  Not really able to do anything.  I fear that we will get our hopes up and that this isn't really the Lord's plan for us.  Right now, all we can do is trust that the Lord has his plan for us and that he'll show us what to do.  I fear that we'll get pregnant.  This agency says that you can't adopt if you get pregnant!  Crazy that I feel that way, but I do.  I want to adopt, but I want to have our own child in the future too!  There are a lot more fears, but I know that they aren't healthy or good for me. 

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

I learned this verse when I was 10 years old.  I pray that I can do a better job of holding onto this scripture. 

Things I am rediculously excited about.  I can't wait to start this process.  I dream about the face of our sweet precious little girl or little boy.  I can't wait to pray and grow closer to Matt during this.  I can't wait to see God's hand in all of this.  I am praying that I will truly understand the meaning and picture of adoption.  It's a really BIG picture to grasp.  I can't wait until the day we get a call that we have been matched to the child the Lord picked for us from the beginning of time!  And I REALLY can't wait until we can travel to go pick up our baby!! 

On a lighter note.  I can't wait to decorate his or her room.  A little snap of the fabrics I like ;)

(gender nuetral without being blah!!)

I have so enjoyed talking to my family about our adoption.  They have been incredibly encouraging to us.  I LOVE having sisters.  They have each been so sweet to ask me about our process through out all of this.  It's so fun to talk about the future with them.  They each have children and I can't wait to share in that joy with them.  My mom...so sweet to share with me her initial reaction of why so young?  Then sharing how happy she was for Matt and I to not waste any time :) My dad...helping to ask me all the legal questions.  He works for homeland security, so he knows ;)  My in-laws...helping me with additional info and talking about how excited they are for us!! 

And Matt.  Sharing with me everything that goes through his head about this process.  Loving this time...but lets get to JUNE 1st now baby!!!

These are some blogs that have really encouraged me lately.  I read them EVERYDAY!!!

Gazing Upward - Scott and Kelley just adopted a precious little girl named Virgina Grace.  I'v been able to read since right before they met her for the first time.

By God's Design - Emily and her husband adopted a little girl name Lia Kate in January.  Such a precious video on her gotcha day! 

Seeds of Faith - This is actually our friends Kim and Joe who are also adopting from South Korea.  So encouraging to see what is happening before us!

The Froehlich Family - This sweet family adopted a little boy from South Korea.  So precious to see pictures!

Reading these blogs give me such HOPE!  A tangible thing that I can see.  I know my hope should be in Jesus and it is.  But for some reason, seeing these other stories come to life, brings me back to my hope in Jesus.